Cruelty is moral or physical pain-infliction.
How does it manifest itself:
- verbal aggression – the spreading of gossip and rumors, evil jokes and swearing, humiliation, insults;
- causing physical harm to human health, violence;
- killing people, animals, plants;
- destruction of monuments, objects of cultural heritage, houses (vandalism);
- anger, intolerance, irritation, hatred towards others;
- the deliberate collapse of material objects;
- deliberate failure to provide assistance and support in order to harm even more.
Sometimes such a person gets pleasure from his actions – it becomes good for him to break something, beat or humiliate someone. This phenomenon is called sadism, its causes lie deep in the psyche.
Causes of violence
Violence starts its path from childhood. After all, no one is born evil, we learn this from others, or become such forcedly.
In a normal situation, a small child can be cruel – tear the wings of a butterfly, pull the cat by the tail, pinch mom and dad. But this comes from ignorance. The kid just does not understand that others can be hurt by his actions.
Over time, he learns that this cannot be done, provided that ру grows and develops in a favorable atmosphere. A child learns kindness, compassion, empathy stopping harming others.
In a situation when a little man grows up in a family where mom and dad fight and indulge in the same behavior towards others, he will surely absorb that cruelty is the norm. He will copy the behavior of adults and use it in the habitual life.
Another reason why people become cruel is humiliation, beating, insulting, in a word – the suppression of a person’s self-esteem in childhood. The baby, which is so treated, cannot answer adults the same since he is too small and does not have the resources for this.
He tolerates. Outwardly, nothing seems to be happening, but anger is forming for its torment and suffering. Having matured, he will revenge the whole world.
There are several motives of a cruel person:
- dissatisfaction with oneself, low self-esteem (having humiliated the other, I become better);
- gaps in education – the lack of ethical and moral values;
- exaggerated self-preservation instinct (I must be tough to survive);
- hiding his inner weakness (demonstration of cruelty as proof of strength).
Is it possible to justify violence?
At first glance, this quality is presented as strictly negative, bringing only suffering and pain. And now let’s imagine a person who always acts “well and correctly”, and most importantly, kindly.
He is insulted – he forgives, he is humiliated – he suffers, they beat – he is silent. Would you like to be in his place? I think it is unlikely that someone will answer “yes”.
The modern world, unfortunately, is not quite safe: someone can rob you in the middle of the day, kill, steal and rape children, insult the elderly, disrespect women.
Cruelty can be shown when necessary – in response to someone’s aggression. This is a fine line between good and evil and you need to understand where that begins and ends.
It is clear that you do not need to throw insults in response to the boorish behavior of someone in public transport. Especially in the morning: are there many sleepy and evil people?
Ways to protect against violence
There are 2 options, depending on who you want to protect – yourself from others or others from yourself. If you often encounter the cruelty of others in relation to you, then you need to take the following measures:
- learn at least a couple of techniques of martial arts for self-defense and apply them when it is justified;
- develop confidence in order not to succumb to insults and provocations, learn to ignore the “energy vampires”;
- increase your self-esteem: the aggressors feel who can be attacked and who is not worth it. A too soft and modest person, unable to kick back, attracts cruel people.
There are situations in which you should ask for help from relatives or go to law enforcement agencies (for example, if you are threatened by a neighbor).
But what if you yourself are cruel and suffer from it, do you want to get rid of?
In this case, it is also worth working on your self-esteem. Perhaps in this way, you are trying to improve it, to prove your value.
Cultivate kindness and compassion in yourself. Try to understand how a person feels when you behave not in a proper way.
A psychologist will help you in this matter. You will understand your personal reasons for the appearance of this character, why you need it and how you can live without it.
Category: General Issues
Tags: dating, sexual abuse, violence